We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
