Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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