Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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