K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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