Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
