i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
