I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
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and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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