it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
