do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
