he thought i was a dude.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
