Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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