i just wanna soil my oats bro
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
