Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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