I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
