Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
