My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
