Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
