Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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