I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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