it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
