he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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