Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
