I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
