Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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