Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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