oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
