I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
His nipple licking is glorious
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