he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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