Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
