beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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