i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
