The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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