You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Did I show you my penis last night?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
