So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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