Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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