what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
