Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
