This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
