she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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