I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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