did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
