i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
