I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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