The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
