we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
