Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize