she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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