dude i'm inner monologue high
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
