so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
