I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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