I wanna passion pit in your ass
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
