Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
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Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
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I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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