going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
