Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
