remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
