6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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