Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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