Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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