You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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