Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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