nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
