NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
