when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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