When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
