There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
