dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize