i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
