Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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