Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
