Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
