That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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