Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize