If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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