I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize