pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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