I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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