Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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