Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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