Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just google imaged poop.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.