Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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