Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.

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(770): View more from Georgia

It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(504): View more from Louisiana

they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...

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(859): View more from Kentucky

How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?

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(858): View more from California

Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!

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(406): View more from Montana

I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?

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