Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.