he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.