Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST

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  (703): fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST http://tfl.nu/btab
  Replies (46) Good night (996) Bad night (777)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get

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  (484): When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left (484): you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get http://tfl.nu/33sr
  Replies (45) Good night (1185) Bad night (4303)
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  (914): View more from New York

  There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone

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  (914): There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone http://tfl.nu/hyr8
  Replies (240) Good night (2168) Bad night (8519)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?

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  (360): on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you? http://tfl.nu/kgxf
  Replies (50) Good night (1582) Bad night (9608)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  What is a GED?

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  (208): Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly (1-208): What is a GED? http://tfl.nu/qgi3
  Replies (47) Good night (1022) Bad night (9935)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!

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  (212): Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?! http://tfl.nu/8o3k
  Replies (18) Good night (1326) Bad night (4611)
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  (510): View more from California

  I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.

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  (510): I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots. http://tfl.nu/tjxa
  Replies (1) Good night (891) Bad night (2761)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.

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  (605): You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home. http://tfl.nu/7njn
  Replies (30) Good night (10626) Bad night (994)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.

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  (205): I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that. http://tfl.nu/zu4z
  Replies (9) Good night (1153) Bad night (2441)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.

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  (501): Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend. http://tfl.nu/du0y
  Replies (7) Good night (3194) Bad night (620)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?

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  (920): Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas? http://tfl.nu/uhrx
  Replies (6) Good night (1163) Bad night (612)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.

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  (647): The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus. http://tfl.nu/lyxj
  Replies (6) Good night (614) Bad night (1559)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.

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  (601): Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers. http://tfl.nu/38v9
  Replies (9) Good night (1681) Bad night (556)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.

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  (847): So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real (847): Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone. http://tfl.nu/mou5
  Replies (3) Good night (587) Bad night (316)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window

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  (234): I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window http://tfl.nu/sgun
  Replies (4) Good night (629) Bad night (223)

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