Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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