Cold hands, warm shart.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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